Laurie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Carson and Emmett. Emmett and Carson.
Those two are trouble.

Bear with me on this post, it really needs to be read the whole way through.

Today those two started with an animal cracker explosion all over the kitchen floor.

Then they got into the Wii stuff.

Then they got into one of Daddy's dental presentation videos he put together for when he's talking to kids - the case is broken and the disc is all finger printed and likely scratched.

Then the two of them climbed behind the TV and were pressing the on/off switch on the power strip over and over and who knows what else.

Then I found them like this (and no, I don't know why Carson was naked):


I don't know what kind of smile that was, but I wiped it off his face pretty quick.

What is that stuff, you ask? Can you see what Carson is holding?


Diaper rash cream. Seriously, it was all over him; arms, knees, between his toes. Ugh.


Oh, and don't forget the hair:


And it was all over the floor and table. At least they did it in the kitchen. That stuff does not come out of carpet. But what did my black cloth basket ever do to them?


I was so focused on the cream that I didn't at first see that my green pepper, just bought last night, had been smashed on the floor. Really? What did it ever do to them either?!


So, naturally, I strapped Emmett in his highchair, since I knew he wouldn't stay still like Carson would, while I cleaned up. Then I bathed Carson and let Emmett stay strapped up and wait. Yes, I was feeling a little vindictive. Then I bathed Emmett.

Then I had Emmett dressed and Carson was sitting on the toilet (no, potty training is not going well) and I looked out the bathroom door long enough to give Avery some instructions and when I turn around Emmett has pumped a bunch of baby soap on his hands. I clean that up and then that literally repeated. I look out, give instructions, look in and find more soapy hands. SERIOUSLY? Soap now removed from reach.

At that point it was about nap time for Emmett so I went downstairs to grab a cheese stick for him because, frankly, I'm not in the mood to do anything else for him and he already had plenty of animal crackers. While I'm downstairs Avery comes running and yelling that Emmett was getting toilet water all over. AAAGGGHHH! Can I just leave the house now? Just walk out and not look back?

So I cleaned Emmett up again, changed his clothes again, administered cheese sticks all around, got Emmett down for a nap, worked on this blog post while waiting to make sure Emmett was really down, then I could at least escape to the shower.

Amazingly, Emmett went to bed fabulously and my shower was whiny Carson free, a miracle I have not seen in weeks.

Now, I know "Laurie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" makes this sound like a day apart from others, but really this is nothing new. Okay, the diaper rash cream made it particularly blog worthy (it's been a long time since the last Desitin incident), but everything else here really represents a theme, not just a single day. EVERY day is like this with them! And that wasn't the first incidence of produce violence either. I think that happened two days ago when I found them on the counter throwing apples on the floor (presumable to see if they would bounce?) I didn't tell Travis about that but I guess now he'll know why his apples were all bruised.

Carson is really a follower, not a leader, but Carson is the real catalyst in blowing anything up. Why? Because he follows the bad example of either his older brother, or his insanely mischievous younger brother, thereby egging them on and making all these things into bigger, better, more fun games. Mischief is always more fun with an accomplice, right? Well, Carson is the ultimate accomplice.